in my mind this is all happening
at the speed of a speed that is faster than the speed of light
but how come it takes so long to explain?
stupid who people can't read my mind
must i explain everything to you?

i'm just kidding
not really

the earth spins on its axis
but unlike a basketball on an index
earths spins faster and faster
Lord, I know the earth rests on your finger
will you slow it down
will you show me what matters
and will you do it gently?

my friend's boyfriend read my blog
and asked her, "are you as religious as Joann?"
can you believe it?
he called me religious.
i hate that word with a passion
and it makes me want to curse.

don't you know Jesus hates religion
and the Catholics gasp now
so do the Mormons
and Jehovah's Witness
and the atheists

The world's ears and eyes have become vestigial
ARE YOU BLIND?

i am human and so are you.

I am simpler than I thought

I went to the Griffith last night with my sister. It's been a long time since I have felt anything, but I am unquenchably happy right now. God spoke to me, and He reminded me how small I really am in this universe.

There was this little boy at the telescope who asked the tscope technician, "how long does it take to get to space?"
And the man said, "We are in space."

I felt awake.

what a girl.

When the times try me, I realized what a girl I am. I am stressed out, so I just want to be hugged. Or I'm worried, and I just want to be coddled/comforted/loved. Wait, I think I am describing an infant.

Today I was so overwhelmed with all the things I have to finish that I just kind of blanked out on life. Like my consciousness wasn't even inside my body anymore. It floated out to outer space and pretended not to know me anymore. It was a very trippy feeling. When my brain and my consciousness reconvened (2 hours later), I realized that I was lying on my bed, faced up towards the ceiling. Have I really been staring at the ceiling for 2 whole hours?

I was so weirded out. Seriously, that's not normal. In panic, I called David for some support. Turns out he was unable to help me out today. He was too busy, and too tired himself. Shucks.

I got in my car, and started driving. Somehow I ended up here at Coffee Bean. How predictable of me. I'm pretty sad today. I don't want to do all this work. There is way too much- I am even wondering if it is humanly possible to finish all this shit. Pardon my language.

People are so damn useless, when you come to that point of wanting comfort. Especially if you are me. I noticed how whenever I really need David, he's never there for me. (Hence, the reason that I always call him "NOT clutch.") Whenever I'm feeling good and up, people are always there for me. I wondered why this phenomenon was ever so consistently present in my life.

It's pretty obvious, if you ask me. God wants that place in my heart. He wants to be the one who comforts me, and rescues me. He wants to be my Savior and hero. He wants me to swoon, when He shows me how awesome He is.

And you know, that really makes me feel better. :) Someone loves me more than you can.

Stewardship

Currently listening to:

Captivate Me - Unknown

I really don't want to be the one who buries his talents underground. What profit have I made? What good am I?

Fear the Lord, and in obedience, live this life for Him.. How trite it sounds, but how true it is. I want to saturate my breaths with praise. Why won't I obey You, Lord? It pains me to see my disobedience. I am so frustrated, I feel like just letting myself drown in my own guilt, filth, and despair. You, the lifeguard, save me. While I struggle to keep my head above the water, your power can take my whole body out of the water. How powerful are You. How wonderful and majestic are You.

You are kind in all your works. So kind, so gentle, full of love and warmth.

Knowing all these things, why won't my flesh obey You?
Sanctify me. That's all I need.

what the hell is wrong with me

how come I am liking korean music all of a sudden?

NO!

freaking wondergirls.

This reminds me of the time PWada and I were jamming and I kept gravitating towards the C-A-F-G progression and he accused me of having a "KPop ear." I was really offended. That is so NOT cool. I think if you know what I'm talking about, you know how offensive that is. But here I am liking this song:

SIGH.

ps. not to sound like a hater (even though that is obviously too late), i can't actually *watch* the video due to its cheesiness & poor quality & lack of: a) content b) storyline c)meaning d) importance e) all of the above... E, ALL OF THE ABOVE.

Effed Up

I am physically effed up right now. This reminds me of when I was in college, at Cal. I used to express myself with art- by means of the very sophisticated illustrating program.. often referred to as... MS Paint. LOL.

I really need to get out of my house, and work on my effing stats homework. So in the spirits of my perpetual desire to quit everything and just move to a beautiful cabin in the woods in Canada (with a backyard jacuzzi), I present to you something I drew while studying for MCB130 during my jr. year of college:

We come into this world alone and leave this world alone.